{"id":7748,"date":"2021-04-24T10:59:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-24T15:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/?p=7748"},"modified":"2021-04-24T10:59:00","modified_gmt":"2021-04-24T15:59:00","slug":"beam-me-up-or-down-scotty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/2021\/04\/beam-me-up-or-down-scotty\/","title":{"rendered":"Beam Me Up (or Down), Scotty!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Dad’s crabapple in bloom<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE<\/span><\/strong> for a 21st century hovercraft or one of those Star Trek transporters \u2014 anything that would beam me from Martha\u2019s Vineyard to Delaware (and back, of course) in an instant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Visiting my dad and sister every five or six months just isn\u2019t enough. When you\u2019re not there, you miss things. Little things, like the joy my sister is getting from the puppy she very fortunately brought home right before Covid. Lucy was the cutest puppy ever, and now she is as fast and agile as a speeding bullet (and still ridiculously charming).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Next up from little things are medium-sized things, like time spent reading (aloud, together) a packet of old letters retrieved from my sister\u2019s attic. These are letters from me to her, my 12- and 13-year-old self to her 18- and 19-year old self when she left for college and I clearly missed her. (And apparently, while she was gone, I was in charge of covering up her teenage misdemeanors, like hiding ashtrays and parking tickets from my parents. There was nothing I wouldn\u2019t do for my very cool older sister.) She saved all those letters. We doubled over in laughter reading them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Then there are bigger things. My sister and I always wind up talking about our childhood, and it is reassuring to know that our memories are in sync, that the things I wonder about sometimes \u2013 did I imagine that or exaggerate it in my head? \u2013 really did happen. Even though we were (are) nearly seven years apart, it was just the two of us, and only she and I have that shared experience of our particular family dynamic.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

And when it comes to little things and big things about seeing my Dad (who will turn 91 this summer), well, every day of this visit has been full of both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve made multiple trips to his favorite nursery (an amazing place filled with acres of plants), wandering the hoop houses, where he greets the owner and his son like old friends. (The\u00a0Itoh peony<\/a>\u00a0pictured here, called Keiko (which means \u201cadored\u201d) is a present he bought me there several weeks ago. How it \u2013 and several dozen other plants \u2013 are going to fit in my car for the ride home, I don\u2019t know.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other night we sat on the couch paging through a landscaping book together for nearly two hours, talking about trees and shrubs and flowers and gardens. Not only has he already transformed our garden here in Delaware in only three years, but he\u2019s now helping a friend by designing some beautiful perennial gardens for her, too.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Last night Dad walked into my room with a small decorative box in his hands. \u201cHave I ever showed you my little box of sayings? Just about everything I believe is in here. All the quotes are on scraps of paper, but could you type them into the computer for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wow. A life philosophy, honed over 90 years of living, stuffed in a little box. I have been unfolding and folding up the little pieces of paper, reading and re-reading them. It\u2019s like someone handed me a very special batch of fortune cookies. Dad cookies. I recognize many of the scribblings, as Dad has quoted (and requoted!) them over the years. But a few are more obtuse and I think of them when I see him deep in thought. And some are just more poignant than others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since my mother\u2019s death, I know that much of his daily activity \u2013 gardening in particular, playing bridge with his lady friends, talking on the phone with his daughters \u2014 is engineered to fill the hole my mother left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it isn\u2019t surprising to me that this quote from Samuel Johnson is one not just folded up in the box, but also printed out from the computer and left on his bureau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe that outlives a wife whom he has long loved sees himself disjoined from the only mind that has the same hopes, and fears, and interest; from the only companion with whom he has shared much good and evil; and with whom he could set his mind at liberty, to retrace the past or anticipate the future. The continuity of being is lacerated; the settled course of sentiment and action is stopped; and life stands suspended and motionless.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

He is also quite fond of this saying (attributed to various):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Happiness is –<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

Someone to love.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

Something to do.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

Something to hope for<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I picked those two to share with you (I don\u2019t think he\u2019d mind) not just to show what matters to him, but because of where we all are right now, and because we are so sculpted by the love we feel for the important people in our lives, whether they are family or friends. (Some we get to love for a very long time, some for a short time.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And because as much as I love my Dad and my sister, I miss my partner. In a very palpable way. (And Farmer of course.) I will be glad to be home \u2014 the other home, the one that is now my real home. But of course as soon as I get there, I will be longing for that Beam-Me-Up machine. A quick check-in with dad, coffee with my sister. Is that so much to ask of modern technology? I know, I chose to live on an Island many miles away. Oh well!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A flowering tree is an invitation to lie down on the grass and look up through the branches.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

LOOKING FOR NEW RECIPES?\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visit\u00a0cookthevineyard.com<\/a>and\u00a0sign up for the free weekly newsletter<\/a>. (Something I do as part of my day job.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

If you arrived here from the internet and would like to subscribe to the Sixburnersue blog, click here.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dad’s crabapple in bloom. WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE for a 21st century hovercraft or one of those Star Trek transporters \u2014 anything that would beam me from Martha\u2019s Vineyard to Delaware (and back, of course) in an instant. Visiting my dad and sister every five or six months just isn\u2019t enough. When you\u2019re not there, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[168,181,149,163],"tags":[190,112,180,188],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7748"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7748"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7748\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7776,"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7748\/revisions\/7776"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7748"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7748"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sixburnersue.com\/cooking-fresh-eating-green\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}